Luke Joseph Hoskisson

Short-listed – 2024 Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Contest

Every Christmas, Grandma claimed it would be her last. She had to be right eventually.

This year, however, she actually looked more youthful; her skin had more colour, appeared tighter. Her pores were somewhat blocked, but then again, the cloves had to be inserted somewhere. She smelt of Christmas, served upon a bed of pine leaves, and sliced clementines.

Little Albert placed one end of the Christmas cracker in Grandma’s caramelized right hand, and kindly helped her grasp onto it. Once satisfied there was enough purchase, he pulled his end. Along with the longer, winning part of the christmas cracker, Grandma’s hand-meat relented towards Albert, sliding off the bone like slow-cooked pork. She’d really given her all with that one, but Albert was triumphant.

“If only you’d have let me win the first time!” Little Albert said. “You might have made it to next Christmas”.