Luke Joseph Hoskisson

Criminals have been vandalising our lovely English roundabouts with uneven, wonky red lines.

These delinquents claim they’re patriotic; apparently that they’re “painting the St. George’s Cross”. But how many patriotic people do you know that don’t realise their national flag usually comes in the shape of a rectangle?

It’s just moronic and dangerous. Our children and youngsters are at risk from people like this. I saw this young spotty lad on his driving test yesterday rock up to one of the ones that had been painted and the poor lad didn’t know if he was at a roundabout or a crossroads – he just got out the car and cried.

But let’s humour the idea, for a second, that the vandals actually believe that they are committing some daring act of anti-liberalism. What are they even proving by painting a roundabout? They have always given way to the right anyway!

So if you “patriots” are reading this, if you really care about this country, and, importantly, if you’ve still got spare time and a bit of paint left over, do everyone a favour….and give the actual road markings a little touchup – I can barely see half of them.