Criminals have been vandalising our lovely English roundabouts with uneven, wonky red lines. These delinquents claim they’re patriotic; apparently that they’re “painting the St. George’s Cross”. But how many patriotic people do you know that don’t realise their national flag usually comes in the shape of a rectangle? It’s just moronic and dangerous. Our children…

Short-listed – 2024 Weird Christmas Flash Fiction Contest Every Christmas, Grandma claimed it would be her last. She had to be right eventually. This year, however, she actually looked more youthful; her skin had more colour, appeared tighter. Her pores were somewhat blocked, but then again, the cloves had to be inserted somewhere. She smelt…